Disclosure, Display, and Hipsterism
Continued thought from Communion post.
To try and connect with people and avoid exploitation, we rely on disclosure and display.
Disclosure is used to unfold ourselves to the right audience. It aims to give privileged information to the groups and people that won't take advantage of the parts of ourselves that are vulnerable and fragile. We hide ourselves and expose our person at opportune moments. This is why most people only share the intimate aspects of themselves with a partner. And since time is a precious resource, long term relationships have the most access to trust. Disclosure, as a result, is usually a sign of things that are delicate and special. It's assumed it can't handle the weight of the world. It's a kind of secret.
Display, on the other hand, shows power. A poison dart frog and a lion don't need to hide in the wild. It's actually a disadvantage to do so, which is why they have bold signals. This is called aposematism. A poison dart frog has its vibrant colors and a lion its guttural roar. These things warn others that they don't need to be inconspicuous for good reasons. This is why display is usually associated with things like strength and leadership ability with people. They can withstand being targeted. As a result, courageous displays tend to attract others.
Disclosure can be manipulated and display can be hacked though. Animals in the wild do similar things with their own forms of signaling called Müllerian, Batesian, and aggressive mimicry. These are all just tactics, passive or otherwise, to stay alive. Humans are no different. This is why, when we experience false disclosure and displays (also known as lies), our instinct is to disconnect. We become aware of the chink in our amor. Distance protects these soft spots. In the short run this a practical strategy. Over a long enough timeline though, if we stay overly protected, our yearning for communion with one another becomes another kind of pain.
Covering our hypersensitivity with cynicism is generally the most common way to feel safe while reengaging with the world. The games will not work on us if we treat everyone as a bad faith actor. This resolve is famously the mentality of the hipster. Walking through life with irony and jest allows us to never be a sucker. Being non committal and never completely sincere—there's always a way out. In this environment though, is the communion we are all looking for possible?
The only solution is to build genuine connections despite the risk. To have the courage to reach out when most are holding back. With globalization and instantaneous communication, the desire everyone has for this is only going to increase. The demands exceed the supply, especially as more people give in to fear. The instability of hypermodernism only magnifies this issue. Those who can offer even a semblance of communion will most likely drive the future, whether good or bad, because they are the ones who don't fight the rockiness and volatility of each day. They end up becoming the beacons. They aren’t aloof. They’re invested. Not just in the absurd though, but in things that matter.
As we careen into tomorrow at ever increasing speeds, we need to learn to embrace uncertainty and create real connection. As a result, our disclosures and displays have to run the risk of involvement and vulnerability. This doesn't mean being naïve to the pitfalls, but it does mean facing the very real possibility that people will try and cut us down.
