The Question of How

It's been about four years now since Hannah and I have moved back from Ecuador. After getting back, one of the most common type of question we got from people boiled down to, "how'd you do it?"

What I find interesting about this kind of inquiry is how often I hear it and have it myself. From people asking me how I am a nude photographer (mostly in the context of how I'm able to do it while having a healthy relationship and kids), to me wanting to know how to make a successful business; how is about being perplexed by what it takes to do x.

Most often we're convinced the secret is always found in the particulars of a story, and though there can be some details that are helpful, I've come to understand that the substance of all the answers I have received and given are relatively simple. It takes consistent personal action and change. Two things that most of us are naturally allergic to and are looking to avoid in the first place when asking how.

In the case of going to Ecuador we sold almost everything we owned, packed clothes in a few suitcases and flew there with our four kids. We figured out how to live in a country we'd never been to through trial and error and even tried to learn the language in the process. As an artist dealing with the figure, I have to ask people if they want to model nude for me. And even if asked in the most transparent and respectful way, there are people who are offended by the very proposition. Having my own business takes me having to call potential customers, convince these strangers to give me their money, and to open up their home to me. This is only a small list of uncomfortable actions I’ve had to take to accomplish the things I want. And if I'm honest, I don't want to do any of these steps. They're all necessary though and there aren't any magical ways around it. There’s no guarantee that doing them will give the desired results either. The inherent difficulty and the lack of a sure payoff makes most of us give up from the start.

So, whenever I hear questions of how (or ask it myself) I realize what's usually being said is, "tell me how I get to the same place as you, but faster and easier." Unfortunately, it can't be done. It's possible to outsource some of it, but that comes with a steep cost. One that most are not in a position to do when wanting to know how.