Equilibrium vs Balance
Life confronts us with inescapable paradoxes. Things like security and freedom, connection and autonomy, and being an I and an other are elemental aspects of reality we must constantly engage with. Whether or not we are conscious of them is irrelevant. They will always weave themselves into life.
When faced with paradoxes we are forced to balance between each desirable condition. If, for example, someone has grown up in a strict environment they may have enough feeling of security and will actively look to break their constraints. Alternatively, if someone's life lacked security they may look for more structure. Neither the feeling of security or freedom is entirely given up for its opposite, but a shift occurs away from one and towards the other. Being able to balance between the paradox's becomes a critical ability to maintain well-being.
It's easy to confuse the concept of balance with that of equilibrium though. On the surface they may even look the same. A state where things are "just right". Not too hot and not too cold, not to high and not too low, not too unbound and not too trapped. It's right in the middle. It's "seventy-two degrees in your head all the time!" We can imagine what Goldilocks had. Blissful equilibrium.
Unfortunately, this perfect state is not possible to perpetuate. Nature will always disrupt our worlds with its randomness and unpredictability. If a loved one passes away we are supposed to experience sadness and unhappiness. When we have a child we are supposed to have an overwhelming sense of joy. When we are sick our bodies are supposed to get fevers and when we are tired we are supposed to sleep. There is no such thing as equilibrium, because we are made to be versatile and to adapt. If we didn't we would never have survived as a species, because life is inevitably volatile. Equilibrium, then, is a tensionless ideal. Stasis is death.
Balance, on the other hand, acknowledges that nature's randomness is something that has to be actively delt with. Pulling between various positions requires agility, strength, and discernment. Discernment because one has to know what kind of corrections must be made in order to stay standing. Much of the balancing in life may seem intuitive and simple, but we take for granted how much practice this took. Complexity only requires more.
The answer isn't to find equilibrium then, but to always grow in our capacity to balance. Over time, when we embrace having to do this, we can learn to handle greater adversity. Maybe many will find ways to shield themselves from having to confront the paradoxes and hardships, but this isn't sustainable. The levy will eventually break if we are only looking to maintain equilibrium. Cultivating balance seems to be the only way to gain a necessary robustness to deal with the bewilderment that will pounce at any moment. And if paradoxes lie at the core of human experience, there's no way of eluding the need to be competent at balancing if we wish to find happiness.